"It takes a village to raise a child"

So I asked for advice on fb and my blog about disrespect and what to do for it! I loved the answers that I got but more than that I loved that everyone was so kind to offer advice and help! I truly believe that saying that "it takes a village to raise a child"! I am thankful for the village I have in helping me in the hardest, best job I have ever had! I am cutting and pasting it so I have it in my blog to refer to forever and so one day my kids can see how much all these people loved them and wanted to help them in their journey of life!

        • Tim Jeffords Beat em- it works! And stop letting them see you throw temper tantrums-if you always stay calm then they will see your example just kidding since you think only mommies know I thought I would prove it to you
          17 hours ago ·
        • Andrea Teran Chavez I would have her thi k of her own punishment. Also, try to get her to recognize when Shea getting frustrated and pre empt the fit by walking away or finding quiet time for her away from the siblings. (at least siblings are usually what sends my 10 yr old into a fit)
          17 hours ago ·
        • Heather Wynne Stewart-Johnson I dont know if there is a simple across the board answer. I have tied behavior and chores into allowance. Its their salary.It works for most of them. Learn to ignore and walk away. She will get the idea..That is the hardest for me. But at 10 being a girl is hard for moms. The one thing my kids said to me is if you ground them and let them out of it they know they get out of it. So once you ground her even if she is sorry keep in place..hey when all else fails chocolate is good..Hope your day improves.
          16 hours ago · · 1 person
        • Michael Brandon Barrera I would go into her room, and clean everything out of it, then take her door of the hinges so she has nothing and gets no privacy. Then, she can earn her things back with respect and kindness and obedience. The only thing she should have in her room would be a bed and a suitcase with clothes. Might sound harsh, but it worked in my house.
          16 hours ago · · 1 person
        • Christine DiBugnara
          I don't have kids but I was a tough 10 year old. I used to mind play my mom because I knew I could play with her emotions. All you can do is remain consistent with your punishments and don't get sucked into their drama otherwise you'll eith...See More
          16 hours ago ·
        • Lindsey Whelan Hughlett
          My mom made us write. When we were little, we copied sentences that had something to do with what my mom wanted us to figure out. As we got older, it was essays. She gave us a length requirement and it had to include scripture references and quotes from church leaders, all having to do with whatever lesson we needed to learn. It was really effective for a lot of reasons. We all became pretty good writers that way! Plus, we learned through gospel teachers, which helps to instill the true value of the lesson and not just ' because I said so'... You'll also find some very creative and entertaining responses. :) good luck!
          15 hours ago ·
        • Lindsey Whelan Hughlett Oh, and when she got the sarcastic responses that used the Gospel resources to justify the particularl child's poor behavior, or were disrespectful in our writing (there was one sibling who was known for this!), we had to do a rewrite until my mom was convinced that we learned the spirit of the lesson.
          15 hours ago · · 1 person
        • Wendy Jeffords D'Anna Just ignore the fits like you do the 2 year old fits. I had a daughter go through this once...we took everything out of her room except her bed and dresser. All the extras were removed. She changed her behavior to get them back but she didn't realize how blessed she was until she matured...maybe like at age 16...they just don't get it this young. She's probably hormonal too...
          13 hours ago · · 3 people
        • Helen Crawford Shaw
          You poor love! I know taking the door off it's hinges, or removing my things would have worked a treat for me... I know I was difficult : S
          My Dad didn't mess about, if he was there and there was a fit, you'd get a smack! lol He didn't even do it very often, I think I can remember only a couple, as they weren't common practice, that was also my Mum's last resort. I try to keep it as an absolute last resort, especially as Darby is getting older. I'm looking for answers for the same things if it's any consolation : S
          I have a friend with a goodly number of children and she says when they are naughty (she doesn't believe in smacking) she goes to her room for her own time out! I've tried it and it worked, Zeke was devastated that I wouldn't let him in, or come out. Here again Darby's probably too old to care : S
          Good luck, I hope she calms down for you! : )
          8 hours ago ·
        • Katy Bean
          I am so glad you posted this!!!! If the perfect Darbster is doing this it makes me feel so much better that Grace is too! I don't know what to do either. I kind of feel bad for Grace in a way because she is the oldest and I expect a lotout of her. This weekend has been really rough for the disrespect thing. Dan talks to her a bunch about the way she speaks to us and responds to us. We admit we are not perfect and our life situation is challenging right now, but mostly we just try to be patient and remind her she is in a family- and this is what families do-pull together when it gets tough-not fall apart. We also had a big girl outing to talk about how this is NOT how the next few years are going to go. Oh man, Suzy, I don't know the answer and I really wish I did. I KNOW we both have amazing 10-year-olds! Why are they being spazzes? Call me when you want to just cry with frustration-I am there!
          Lindsey- that is the most hilarious thing I have EVER heard! That is pure torture! My dad used to sit us down and be absolutely serious and tell us how disappointed he was when we misbehaved. The worst was when he would tell us about how kind and loving Christ was and how much he did for us and all he ever asked was for us to be good. What a sad day for Him that we were not doing what he asked. Oh...it was HORRIBLE. I remember being so jealous of our neighbors who would get beatings if they misbehaved! Physical pain would have been so much better than the mental anguish we were put through!
          7 hours ago ·
        • Mandie Allen Wallace We take stuff away, works with Dylan but not Kassidy-she usually just takes the punishment and keeps on with what she's doing. Kassidy is all about POSITIVE rewards. With her I have to ignore the bad and praise and reward the heck out of the good. She's driving me crazy!!

          Besty wrote this in the comments of my blog post and I wanted to put it out here so when my blog prints I have it too:
          BITTLES: Suze I feel for you!!! Things go well when I stick to the following (however I seem to forget this and end up in the same place...but it works when I do it) You start off by saying that you don't feel you have been rewarding the kids enough for their good behavior (saying that first part is key for this to work) continue with "so starting now on Sunday mornings (or whenever) each time they talk respectfully to one another or are helpful (or whatever the opposite of the aweful behavior is that you want to fix) they are going to get _______. (Around here it is an extra minute playing the computer when it is computer time.--my kids jump through hoops for that but whatever it is that your kids really enjoy would work) Hope that helps, Good luck! miss you!

No comments: