Juliet's Birth (Dad's POV)

I thought, after reviewing the scarcity of blogs as of late, that I should probably step in and add my first post. Appropriately, I will give a detailed account of Juliet's birth from her father's eyes.

November 30th 2:34pm - We were in the middle of Sacrament Meeting when Suzy signaled to me that her contractions were now two minutes apart and had been for a while. Being just a couple weeks ahead of the birthing schedule is Suzy's forte. So we immediately grabbed kids, bags, and pregnant woman and headed out the chapel doors. At the hospital we found out that Suzy was only dilated to a three; only a step up from her last doctor's visit. Needless to say, after a few weeks of miserable third trimester blues, the prospect of being sent home didn't set too well with Suzy. We sat and waited, listening to buzzing and bleeping of various monitors and watching Sunday afternoon television on their huge five inch screen. After a couple of hours and a few more rubber glove violations we arrived at barely 3 1/2 to 4 centimeters. So the nurse called the doctor and the doctor said....(drum role please)..... "Admit her." YAY! So off we went.

We were immediately upgraded to the L & D suite upstairs; complete with a door, two extra seats, and a TV remote tethered to the bed. I kind of like that after eight years and four kids that the only thing that's changed about the hospital is the menu....wait never mind its all the same. And there we waited - Suzy, Suzy's mom, me, and Hilary Boyer.

6:36pm - IV and pitocin drip begin.
8:03pm - Suzy is violated once again; this time by a long plastic hook and random doctor that breaks her water and has a weird crush on Suzy's mom.
8:16pm - we scramble for a good boy's name. We both think it will be a boy. The name will probably be Stixon.
7:46 - 9:31pm - Various probing by other masked, rubber gloved vigilantes.
9:45pm - Suzy makes a new friend and possibly a new eternal companion - her anesthesiologist!
11:59pm - the effacement and dilation counts reach an all time high. We are on the edge of our seats.
12:46pm - Nurse says its time to start pushing. Little does she know that Suzy's an old pro at this. Suzy pushes once and the nurse says, "Okay, let's wait for the doctor."
1:05am - A young female doctor comes in. Her and her assistant had to be between 25-30 years old. They were awesome. Pushing.....pushing...pushing. (Sorry this is the man's POV, I make it sound so easy. Well Suzy makes it looks easy.)
1:20am – The head is out, umbilical chord is loosely wrapped around the neck. The doctor unwraps it with ease.
December 1st, 1:25am- a baby comes out...umbilical chord is covering the babies sex parts... long 30 seconds passes...doctor says, "Oh, you don't know what it is yet, do you?....It has....girl parts!" Juliet is born!

This is the where the story gets interesting. Juliet looks like smurfette. Why?....because she's BLUE! Her one and a half foot journey left the markings of a 15 round heavy weight boxing match. On top of that, her breathing was labored. Mommy held the baby briefly and then it was off to the nursery.

So... "stressed out Dad" left "stressed out Mom" and went to the third floor with "stressed out baby". At the nursery my fears were relieved by two wide-eyed nurses that thought, by her appearance, that Juliet was dead. They hooked her up to the respiratory and heart monitor. Her breathing changed a bit but remained too fast. I went down to Suzy's room to help alleviate her worries and try and get some sleep. It was a long night. I told Suzy everything would be fine...I had no idea. I was out of my league and knew I needed assistance. I called a friend to help give Juliet a blessing. They transferred her to the NICU in the morning and we gave her a blessing there.

I watched her for a long time in the NICU. This is where Dad's have a total advantage. I get to see everything first hand and Suzy has to wait in her room for updates. Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. Juliet was fine. Her breathing was labored because she still had some fluid in her lungs. She was soon breathing normal.

12:32pm Juliet was in Mommy's arms again. (still blue though)

The nurse told us to be careful when we walked around the hospital with her because the staff would probably think she was not breathing. We found out later that the bruising on her face and the fluid in her lungs was due to her rapid descent. I guess in "birthing speed" that was considered "fast". So I'm talking with Guinness about a "Fastest Womb Descent" category in their next addition. I'm also talking with Revlon about a line of newborn cosmetics for those stressed out, lizardy, battered (sometimes blue) looking babies that need a little gussying up. On the positive side I think everyone's first photo should be their worst. That way you've got plenty of room for improvement.

2:33pm - Suzy and Brandon argue over the spelling of her name. Suzy texted a few friends and "Juliet" wins over "Juliette". (for the record that was my choice)

2:34pm - All is well. Happy Birthday Juliet.


Alison said...

Holy crap- she's BLUE! Really really truly blue. That would have freaked me out.
She also looks exactly like Darby. Only Smurfier.

Brandon, can you come write my next birth story? Except I'm not letting you in the delivery room, so maybe you could just make it up.

b - bo said...

Hilary Boyer gets a full name. I am just referred to as "a friend". I see how it is.

Erin said...

That was great, thanks Brandon for such a fun delivery story.

Chris and Mary said...

Yay for Juliet! We were just telling ourselves that we wanted to see a new post about her. Congrats again--I hope we can get down to TX sometime soon, because life without the Jeffords' is no life at all! :)

Gwen said...

Congratulations on Juliet!! Personally, I like Juliette b/c I have a thing for "ette". Gwendolyn"ette" and Prick"ett"... see what I mean?! Anyway, I am glad to hear all is well with the Jeffords :o)

Kimberly said...

Blue or not...she is still a GORGEOUS Jeffords baby! There is no deny that she is definitely a Jeffords! B thx for the update (& the fabulous POV...you always make us chuckle!) All of the Parisi's here in Florida send lots of love to all of the Jeffords out there in Texas!!!

Congrats again on another beautiful baby! ;)

Sharlynn said...

What a great recap! I didn't know that she came out so blue. What a scary thing. I am so glad that all is well. She is beautiful. Good work you two!!!!

Heather said...

What a wonderfully told story.So sweet. Just like she is. I can't get over how she gets cuter everytime I see her.

Mandie said...

Thanks Brandon for making me giggle thru what I'm sure was a scary story! Glad all is well with everyone, lots of love to you all!

Mike and Lindsey said...

Ok I've always thought that I would prefer to avoid having a Christmas baby, but that picture by the tree is so sweet! I want a Christmas baby just so I can have such a cute picture! Or maybe we'll just have to put the tree back up in March for a photo op. :) Such a sweet baby girl! Congratulations!!!