A baby?

I thought that would get my blogging buddies attention! No we are not pregnant! :) We are in fact trying to decide if our family is complete though. Who would have thought this would even be an issue? All during being pregnant with Juliet I KNEW I was NEVER doing that again. Then the first thing I said to Brandon wasn't "Is she o.k.? Is she breathing? Why is she blue?" I looked at him and said "We have to do this again, I think I want another!" My sweet husband and friend said lets wait for the post partum to wear off. That was both our answers for a while. Well I am now off all the post partum drugs. She is over a year. We have asked at the temple and in countless prayers. Many conversations with good friends and with each other. My conclusion is that the Lord is pleased with what we have done and now it is up to us. It is ok either way. Be done or have another. What? Are you kidding me? Now what? On one hand our family looks complete in pictures. I would LOVE to have my body back and work to get all the weight off to never have to put it on again. We would love to go camping and to Disney Land and so many other things that we put off until the last one can be manageable. It was hard to split the Christmas budget, school clothes budget, new seasons budget and birthday budgets into so many piles. (It has always worked out though with a lot of faith....) I don't feel like I am the best mommy I can be to the ones I have. I yell more than I want and fast food is all our friend. B and I are both getting older too. I am overwhelmed a lot! BUT on the other hand. I don't know if I can close the door completely on another Jeffords! :) Who doesn't want another one of those? To never hold a brand new one that is mine again. Never nurse again (we all know how good I am at that...why would I miss it when I suck so bad at it?) Never have a baby kick again....I hated that part and the hiccups and the ligament pulls and the heartburn and the pre term labor and the peeing my pants (still do that) and the BARFING. Oh but to eat what ever you want with no guilt! I never have guilt when I am pregnant. :) My kids LOVE babies and LOVE Juliet so much. They all ask when we are having another. (All though that is dying down a bit...except for Max.) I see sister in laws and close friends having babies and the desire to have another overwhelms me. Then I sit back and ask myself, is it really another baby or all the fun that goes with it? There is a lot of attention and love that is thrown your way with a new baby. You can't even go to the grocery store with out someone commenting on the newest addition. (I get that a lot with just the size of my family though).

I thought the Lord would CLEARLY say "Well done! No more. Your family is complete on this earth. You are my favorite!" :) Why would he let me choose? I never thought in a million years this chapter would be so hard to close. :(
Seriously friends, any thoughts?